# Accessing what's already there [One of my mentors](https://www.peterblock.com) says, "Giving advice is a neo-colonialism." My experience facilitating for over 10 years affirms this. When I give advice, the hidden message is, "you don't have the skills or capacity to do this yourself." It is, ultimately, belittling. What's more often true is that people have everything they need, it's just stuck behind [shame](https://knowshame.org), fear, systemic barriers, or similar. >[!note] All that said, if you want my opinion, book a [[Advising]]. What we all need, more than advice, is to be seen for what we've experienced, listened to with deep curiosity, and held in our own processes of resourcing. I aim to this standard in everything I do, from [[Coaching|coaching]] and [[Working with organizations|consulting]] to [[What is community grief tending?|grief tending]] and [[Where or how do people learn songs?|community singing]].